Saturday, 29 January 2011

Buy shares in pharmaceuticals.

We knew some time back that we wanted to go to somewhere in South America and scoured through the Lonely Planet books comparing notes in the Dangers and Annoyances sections.
While some countries offered beautiful scenery and amazing cultural experiences they also had their quota of unpronounceable diseases that could be caught from swimming, drinking or even being near water, buying food from street vendors with a free ticket to the nearest hospital.
Chile offered a good balance of scenery, safety for our two daughters, healthy lifestyle and minimal creepy crawlies that climbed into your nose while you slept and laid their eggs in your brain.
However, our frail Australian bodies need some pharmaceutical assistance while we are on the other side of the globe.
Talluah visited the travel doctor and left with a stack of prescriptions to help us self medicate if the need should arise. Our collection of medicines came with very clear instructions: These ones are for infections and problems above the neck and these ones are for problems from the neck down.
The helpful pharmacist asked us various questions about our travel needs and with each question another lotion, tablet or powder was placed on the counter.  Our credit card came out of its hiding place and although suffering from third degree friction burns performed its duty once more.

The four of us went to the doctors to have our $630 injections to protect us from nasties.  The doctor pulled out a hypodermic smaller than my little finger.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“It’s the typhoid vaccine.”
“It’s very small,” I replied mentally dividing two injections for four people into $630.  “You’d think you’d get a bit more for your money.”
The doctor gave me some chocolate to chew.
“What’s this for?”
“To trick the brain.  It concentrates on the sugar in the chocolate instead of the needle prick.”
I put the chocolate down.  “I paid $75 for this needle. I may as well experience the whole thing.”

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